Gonna party like its 1807

This past weekend a very unique couple got hitched, and in doing so made one of my dreams come true. The silly, trusting folks asked me to be their wedding photographer! Marybeth and Paul wanted their wedding to reflect the spirit of simpler times, when families and friends came together - and worked together - for the betterment of society. That decided, the couple decided that they would get married as if it was 1807. Down to making their own clothes and food. When I heard about this, I think exclaimed something like I'd give my right arm to photograph it. The gods were listening. Their original photographer dropped out, I was in and my arm is still attached. For now.

The wedding was truly one of the most unique I've ever witnessed. Situated in the middle of the woods in Indiana, the wedding involved costumes, skits and lots of revelry. The guests came in costume, the groom brewed the beer. The bride grew the flowers for her bouquet and a mighty feast was prepared for the famished, chilly guests. There were dogs, cats and chickens underfoot. Possums on guests. Huzzahs and outhouses and fire and a handcrafted ball and chain. It was an honor to be a part of such craziness and know that's it not likely I'll ever see anything quite like it again.

Though I could go a long time without seeing a possum perched on a wedding guest's shoulder. That wasn't necessary.

Spooky Little Bride You

A little pre-Halloween treat, courtesy of very talented artist-bride Tania Del Rio and her site My Poorly Drawn Life.

Warning: the following content is very spooky and extremely addictive. Whatever you do, stay away from the haunted archives. They will suck away hours of your time with their monstrous cleverness.

Eat Your Heart Out

I think this might be the most fantastic thing I've ever seen.

Taking the celebration of a couple's love to the next level, no, the next stratosphere, here we have a monument to the bride in all her sugary, gum-pasted glory, offering herself up to be admired, adored and devoured by plastic cutlery-wielding wedding guests. When they cut the cake, which end do the guests eat? I'd like some bosom, please? Or how about the bride's clavicle? What was the thought process that went into this? Is there a groom's equivalent? Mini cupcake-size grooms to encircle her feet?

Oh groom-shroom. Who are we kidding? This is not a bride afraid to announce to the world what we all know but few will readily admit - this is about ME, GLORIOUS ME! How can one not bow in sheer awe before such a monument to narcissistic, orgiastic self-love? And as my friend Stacey pointed out, it'll be one hell of an anniversary when they celebrate their love by collecting the bride's head from the freezer and eat it. I think mine might explode from the sheer volume of biblical, anthropological, medical and literary references one could infer from such a culinary feat.

I think I'm just gonna stare at it some more.

You Do the Math

Chen Adi fancies the older gentlemen. This weekend she became a bride for a second time, and her husband, a mere 25 years older, swears they will be together until death do they part. Odds are this could be the shortest honeymoon on record. Chen is 81. How old is the lucky fella?

Yeah I know it's Monday, but its fun math. Oh, alright. Just click here.

Lawyer Bride Sues Florist for $400,000

Here are the facts: Like any bride, she wants her day to be perfect; this entails the use of "rust" colored and dark green hydrangeas. What she got instead was pastels, and, according to the lawsuit she, a practicing attorney, filed herself, "extreme disappointment, distress and embarrassment." The florist asserts that he warned the bride that the flowers she requested would be based on availability and due to lighting, they might appear different than the flowers she had requested in a photograph. She counters that that they paid $30,000 for flowers they did not receive in addition to their being placed in "dirty," half-full (hey- at least she's an optimist) vases. So she sued the florst for $400,000.

So we've got ourselves a moral quandry. As brides, we understand the obsession with wanting things to be perfect on one's Perfect Day. We could see maybe having a similar meltdown if a key element of the wedding was horribly botched. But here's another quandry in that quandry. Did anyone else notice? Did any guest care that the hydrangeas clased with the favor boxes and linens? Is that a moot point since, clearly, the bride was so distraught? Just because she could, does it mean that this bride should have sued for such a large amount? Is this simply another case of cooler heads failing to prevail and giving brides - and litigious Americans - a bad name? Or is there a part of you that would - or wishes you would - take such action?

Inevitably this story is going to be spread like wildfire through the media outlets and snap judgements will be made. But what do you think? Bridezilla in the extreme or just cause?

Read the actual story here. Registration for NYTimes required.

Happy Anniversary

Two years ago today, under a beautiful tree, dancing dragonflies and insanely perfect weather, I became the wife to the most amazing, wonderful man I have ever had the privilege to know, let alone, er, marry. And the truly amazing thing about him? He just keeps getting more and more wonderful.

Happy Anniversary, baby. I love you so!

World's Longest Wedding Dress

A Chinese couple set to marry today are also setting the world's record for longest wedding dress train. Measuring at 200.8 meters (658 feet), the dress' length, according to the groom, is a nod to the upcoming 2008 Olympic games in Beijing. In addition to having the dress of her dreams, the bride is doing her part to reduce her carbon footprint in China's notoriously overpolluted environs, what with the Chinese no longer needing to build an actual track as her train will be a lovely substitution. Well, that was the plan until the couple, pictured above in their wedding finery, was mistaken for an alien crop circle and removed by the government for "safety precautions."

Arkansas

Arkansas, Arkansas, I just love ole Arkansas.

I love my ma, I love my pa, I just love ole Arkansas.

The second our car crossed over the Arkansas stateline, my driving companion launched into the above song. Repeatedly.

Now that thanks to bumbling legislators, it seems all the more fitting. That is if you are eleven, in love and want to get married. Because it's the law!

The moral of the story? Always, always proofread!