Outta here

The family is off for some high altitude birthday fun in the sun. Back next week!

The Boutwells

There is wedding photography.

And then there are photographs that Doug and Chenin Boutwell take.

I stumbled onto their website when I thought I was getting married in Los Angeles and later visited it as my interest in wedding photography as a hobby grew. I could say things like "raising the bar" and "innovative" and "unlike anything you've ever seen" and "will be included in the time machine I'm building to take me back to my 2005 wedding" but this is one of those cases where the cliches about a picture being worth a thousand words is true. And will save me from typing 1000 words.










(Edited to say that after my daughter, Chenin's new studio is the most adorable thing I've ever seen. )

The Game of Love

There are plenty of contests I wouldn't mind entering in the name of love.

The Wife-Carrying World Championship allows you and your love to show off those teamwork skills. The Dunmow Flitch Trials (more about that on Friday) gives you an opportunity to travel just outside of London AND put that premarital counseling to the test.

I would build a time machine and set it for 2005 and bring along Martha Stewart, the producers of the Today Show (and maybe even Katie Couric so we could chat about that whole boredom with the current job thing)and they could throw me my dream wedding. I might even be tempted to immerse myself in a giant fish tank on the luckiest day of the year.


So maybe it's just me, but I can safely say I have found a wedding competition that makes me glad to be married with nary a wedding coordinator in sight. China has just announced the launch of its first ever Ongoing Polar Wedding where the lucky winners will be married. In an "under-sea ice-wedding."

OK. I don't know if something is being lost in translation, but "under sea ice wedding" sounds to me less prize and more euphemism, like Davy Jones Locker, or the Great Beyond. Like, "poor Masha had one too many sips of cousin's moonshine so it's an undersea ice wedding for him."

So according to the press release, there are at least 35 couples actively competing for the privilege of having an Ongoing Polar Wedding. I just can't get over that they have managed to find the only thing worse-sounding than a polar wedding which is an ONGOING polar wedding, implying weeks of whale blubber, hypothermia and the very real risk of being eaten alive by polar bears. You say potato, I say po-tah-to.

From the press release:

The candidates have to go through a series of tests, such as "Polar Journey", "Polar Mailing" and "Polar Lovers" to win the contest.

OK. You've intrigued me. What, daresay, is a polar mailing? I know it sounds like I'm picking on you, Ongoing Polar Wedding, but really. The couple must take turns shoveling a path to the mailbox of bliss? You are testing them on their ability to be Polar Lovers when the simple fact they applied to win this craziness wasn't testament enough?

Congrats to the lucky couple. I will be toasting you from afar, above sea level, in the suddenly delicious, sweltering jungle heat that is summer in the South.

AntiFrump

A Monday morning makeup popquiz:

Yes or No?

1. When I try to create a smokey-eye, instead of smokey-sexy, it's more like smokey-got-punched-in-the-face-with-her-makeup-bag.

2. I can identify every single brush in my brush kit and explain it's purpose. The square-shaped one is great for getting that hard to reach grout.

3. I don't own a brush kit. What is a brush kit?

4. I don't want to spend 45 minutes on my makeup to look like I'm not wearing makeup. How about 5?

5. I wish there was a website I could visit that told me how to apply makeup like a pro, offered easy to understand tips and made me spit out my fruit loops with its hilarious commentary.

If you answered YES to more than 4 of these questions, there is help in the form of ANTI-FRUMP.

The brainchild of makeup artist Elizabeth Harris, antifrump draws from her experience making up the beautiful people and reveals the secrets of how you too can look like the most gorgeous version of you on your wedding day. Because it would be helpful if your groom could recognize you as you make your way down the aisle.

Guinness Record Love

World's Tallest Man ties the knot. A comparatively very tiny knot. Here's hoping the kids take after the Mrs.

Taking the Cake

The Dastardly Wedding Markup caught on video! With s&%t ribbons!

Bloggy Bonus

The always inspiring Decor 8 has the yummiest wedding post I've ever seen.

The Luckiest Day of the Year

The so-called luckiest day of the year to get married has come and gone, and where else would those looking to play the odds tie the knot but Vegas?

Personally, I'm not sure if I would call battling 115 degree desert heat and other brides for a place in line "lucky," but thousands of you proved me wrong, descending on the town in a nuptial frenzy. There was the guy who was shot seven times and figured 7/7/07 would make remembering his anniversary a breeze. The obligatory not-so-lucky wedding that ended with a lawsuit, and then there was this couple, who took the plunge literally:

"One created the must-have photo opportunity: an underwater wedding in a 117,000-gallon fish tank. A couple in full diving gear held up "I Do" signs for the cameras.

And the money quote:

"The couple vowed not to enter into marriage "lightly, but soberly, with the fear of God," in front of a cast of witnesses, including family, friends, gamblers in the casino, two divers dressed as mermaids, several stingrays, six species of sharks and a porcupine puffer."

A Bass Proposal Shop

This story comes at a convenient time as my husband and I stopped by a Bass Pro Shop just yesterday. So I can confirm that, yes, it does seem constructed from bricks made of revenge and mortar full of payback for all the times a woman has made a man "run errands" only to be subjected to three hours of Sephora and Nordstrom. Think gargantuan warehouse full of Man Be Fishing With Built-in Cryogenic Cooler of Beer. Suffice it to say, the place doesn't exactly reek of romance. Except this guy and his 1.5 carat diamond saw differently.