Planzillas

Just when you were getting comfy with the moniker for brides, the dreaded -zilla suffix strikes again!

With this ring Part 2

Round up a bevy of 100 or so brides, and it's likely that the majority of the bunch will be sporting a lovely diamond set in platinum, silver or gold with perhaps a coterie of pave diamonds singing backup on either side. It's suprising to me that with all the choices available in gemstones, the diamond still maintains a chokehold on the engagement ring business. Perhaps I underestimate the power of advertising. Only a handful of those brides will be rocking a sapphire in addition to her diamond and maybe just one who opted out of the diamond business completely. Funny how merely a hundred years ago variety was the name of the game.


For all their buttoned up, straight-laced notoriety, the Victorians were the paragons of freaky-naughtiness when it came to the variety of their engagements rings.

Before the South African diamond rush made the precious stones more readily available, Dearest and Regard rings were popular ways of declaring one's love when diamonds proved themselves a bit scarce. The gemstones spelled out the term of endearment:

D=Diamond
E=Emerald
A=Amethyst
R=Ruby
E-Emerald
S=Sapphire
T=Topaz

and

R=Ruby
E=Emerald
G=Garnet
A=Amethyst
R=Ruby
D=Diamond

With nature becoming a popular motif in Victorian art and song, snakes, still hurting from a bad rap since the Garden of Eden days, saw a sudden resurgence in popularity, particularly in jewelry. A favored engagement ring style featured the coiling, golden body of the snake around the finger, its eyes studded with rubies or emeralds. The trend exploded in popularity after Queen Victoria was presented with the Ouroboros-style serpent ring, an ancient motif depicting a snake swallowing its tail.



Snake ring available here.
Dearest ring available here.

With this ring Part 1

The question has been popped and the ring is now happily at home on that finger that finally can make use of its name. Ever wonder why the ring finger became the lucky digit?

The most popular explanation:

The Egyptians believed that the fourth finger of the left hand (the thumb being considered a finger) contained a vein, the vena amoris, that ran directly to the heart. The ring, the shape of an unbroken circle symbolizing eternity, was placed on that finger during the ceremony.

The strangest explanation:

The study of chiromancy (a combination of astrology and palmistry ) attributes the ring finger not only to the God Apollo but to the heart. Wearing a ring on that finger was believed to protect against evil spirits and conduct energy to the heart of the wearer.

The religious explanation: (via Wikipedia)

The inception of the engagement ring itself can be tied to the Fourth Lateran Council presided over by Pope Innocent III in 1215 [2]. Innocent declared a longer waiting period between betrothal and marriage; plain rings of gold, silver or iron were used earliest. Gems were important and reassuring status symbols to the aristocracy. Laws were passed to preserve a visible division of social rank, ensuring only the privileged wore florid jewels. As time passed and laws relaxed, diamonds and other gems became available to the middle class.

It was believed that the Catholic priest officiating the ceremony would take the ring and slide it over each finger of the hand, pronouncing that their union was blessed by the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit before sliding it over the index finger.

IN SEARCH OF A BRIDE IN SEARCH OF A RING

Yes, Virginia, there IS a story with a happy ending in the news! After 40 years of wondering where her wedding ring scurried off to, she gets her answer.

GIVING BACK THE RING

But maybe you're wishing that ring would stay lost. Emily Post weighs in on the etiquette of what to do with the ring after the big day has been called off:


If an engagement is broken, the bride should immediately return the ring to her former fiancé. The only “but” in this case is if the ring is a family heirloom of the bride’s. She should then keep the ring. Some argue that the ring should not be returned to the fiancé if he was the one to initiate the break-up—rather than a mutual decision to call it quits. It makes more sense to return it. Why keep a painful reminder of the end of an engagement just to be spiteful? It’s better to take the high road and move on. The bride should also return any other presents of value her fiancé has given her, and he should return her gifts as well.

NEXT WEEK: Part 2 - male engagement rings, dearest rings and... snakes?

Flickr at First Site

What do you see here?

A dimly lit shot of a girl about to be eaten by a legosaurus?

How about one's future soulmate?

I miss the 90s

Kids have it easy these days. With a Sephora on every block, ionic blowdyers at a discount and stylist tips just a keystroke away, girls kind of don't have an excuse not to have a fabulous yearbook photo or at least hitting the mall looking ten years older than they should . And when they get married, they have Vera Wang and Monique Lhuillier to draw from for inspiration. They don't have to worry about the gowns of yesteryear, the ones with the inexplicable chest cutouts and aerobized hairbands and veils that stand up like a spooked deer.

Which is kind of a shame. This oldie but goodie site thinks so, too.

A Craiglist Wedding

I found my apartment, my patio furniture and some very sketchy job listings for a "writer's assistant" on Craiglist.

This same sex couple found something a whole lot sweeter.

For your bonus Science/Tech Friday news... No-thank-you-very-mucho-Mr.-Roboto.
Do you think it will help them to get just where that they needed to?

Fakin it

Today's brilliant on a budget tidbit...

Fake cake!

Enterprising couples who want a beautiful cake but aren't up for shelling out the hundreds of dollars have hit upon an elegant middleground:


"The idea is to have an elegant, multitiered pretend cake for show while serving guests slices from a real but inexpensive sheet cake.
The inside of a faux wedding cake crafted by Fun Cakes contains mostly plastic foam, with a secret spot reserved for a slice of real cake to be shared by the bride and groom.
Everything is covered by gum paste and fondant, a frosting-like confection made from sugar and water often used in cakes and pastries.
"The only difference is the inside. Nobody can tell," said Kimberly Aya, whose 3-month-old company also bakes real cakes.
Fake cakes aren't new but renting them is fairly novel.
Mary Brown, manager of Cakes Plus in Grand Rapids, said her bakery has rented out its window displays a few times when brides were desperate and needed something at the last minute.
Brown said a typical three-tier cake serving around 100 guests costs an average of $200 to $250. Aya charges $100 to rent an in-stock fake cake and $150 for a custom design."

My only quibble: If you had a fake cake would YOU go through the pretense of the cake cutting?

Did you have a fab fake cake? The Wedding Register wants to hear from you!

trash the dress

I don't know. Are you the kind of bride that could drop $3000 on a gown only to drown it, burn it, cut, and generally slap around and abuse it - after the happily ever after part - for the sake of a killer photo? One could argue it's a hell of a lot more practical than shelling out another several hundred bucks to have it preserved for eternity (would this qualify as taxidermy? Just curious.) The Sunday Times has a story on brides - and their enterprising photographers- doing just that. (*registration might be required)

The one with the scissors simply makes me queasy.

The underwater one? It's kinda wanting to make me go crack open my perfectly preserved specimen and go looking for the nearest pool...

Be a Doll

In honor of your weekend, for no particular reason, we have a doll themed roundup:

The good.

The bad.

The ugly.

And the seriously really, really creepy

Dancing Redux

When I was but a girl dreaming of my wedding, I was a bit fuzzy on the details. I knew I wanted a big, poufy dress and complicated, fancy hair and a big ole tower of cake. But for my reception - my husband and I would enter from opposite sides of the room and meet on the dance floor. A traditional waltz would begin and the guests would be charmed.

And then the music would abruptly change.

My husband would rip away the velcroed skirt of my ballgown dress to reveal my fabulous legs in dancer's high heeled shoes and we would begin a scintillating tango whose choreography would blow away our guests with its degree of difficulty and

The irony of this is that my husband is a fantastic dancer. When I mentioned my dream reception scenario, his facial expression was enough for me to clamp down on my engagement ring and attempt to convince him that he must have misheard me. Or I was drunk.

But forget CD favors and butterflies at the reception. Apparently the latest trend at weddings is for the bride and groom to channel their inner hoofers and treat their guests to a cheeky routine. I was blown away by the Thriller dance. This morning's Dirty Dancing led to a journey across the wilds of You Tube.

Apparently I was not the only one with the tangoesque fantasy.

So it is no small amount of envy that I shed a little tear of admiration for these couples who had the collective cojones to break it down for their love:

Nobody Puts Baby -er Bride - in the corner

Am I the only person in the world who hasn't seen this yet?

And who thinks this is fan-frickin-tastic?

Desperately Seeking Susan

The conversation is heady as the banter flies back and forth and the background noise all but fades away. You never knew somebody could "get" you so quickly, and it's like you've known each other forever. You only have eyes for each other and the realization hits: I think I've found someone pretty special.

The love of your life, right?

Not exactly. But she just might help you and said lover stage the wedding of your dreams.

Recognizing the growing pool of both engaged couples and the wedding planners hoping to assist them, fellow planner Kathy Smith had an intriguing idea: speed dating, in a sense, for wedding planners and their potential clients. A novel spin on that most uncertain of dating traditions, Brides on the Go
recognizes that today's couples are busy busy busy - so why not gather everyone together, add some complimentary champagne and watch the enterpreneurial sparks fly?

Couples have five minutes to meet with participating planners, get the lowdown on their services and more importantly, suss out whether this potential partnership could be an effective match. Minneapolis, D.C. and San Francisco brides will have their chance of finding Miss or Mr. Right Hand Man later this year with other cities soon to follow.

If only finding the fiance had been this easy.

Weekend Extra

To send you off into the weekend with stars in your eyes and a hole in your wallet, feast them peepers on Net-a-Porter's summer bridal roundup

Change of Heart

Back in '03 when I was planning my wedding to my college sweetheart, I was sweatin a lot of the details. This or that dress? Church ceremony or funky destination wedding? Lamb or steak? "Does the groom actually want to get married" apparently should have been a bit higher on the priority list. The wedding was called off, leaving heartache, confusion, and lots of messy financial loose ends to tie up.

So where was the change of heart rider wedding insurance clause when I needed it?

Statistics are unclear, but according to There Goes the Bride, about 20% of engaged couples get cold feet, resulting in approximately 500,000 folks calling off their splashy, increasingly expensive nuptials. Insurance companies are taking note, especially in the wake of Jennifer "Runaway Bride will be enscribed on my headstone" Wilbanks' decision to hop a bus to Santa Fe rather than confront her fiance. Fireman's Fund Insurance explained to the Today Show that for $26, an "interested party" could purchase the rider for coverage up to $25,000 in the chance that the bride or groom decides to head for the hills. What's interesting is that their definition "interested party" specifically prohibits the bride or groom from taking out the policy. Traditionally the father of the bride foots the bill, therefore being entitled to protect his assets.

But in age where wedding traditions have an increasingly tenuous hold on the masses, more brides and groom are making sizeable contributions to the shindig, if not outright footing the bill for the entire thing. Oooh, I'm suddenly seeing a bridal remake of Double Indemnity...

And what I find to be even more interesting, what does it say about said dad if he does plop down the $26? How's that for some head table icebreaker conversation...