What's Love Got to Do With It

The villas at the super-exclusive Mexican resort have been reserved for a year and a half. Your dress, a replica of Grace Kelly's nuptials to her Prince, required you take second mortgage on the house you just bought with your fiance. After some serious compromises, the guest list was whittled down to 574, each of whom will be walking away with a customized bag of the latest celebrity swag. Maybe there's time to look into corporate sponsorship? But all you know is that by golly, this is going to be the most fabulous wedding those 574 will attend in their LIFETIME.

While the above example is extreme, the experts say it's not far off as our drive to put together glitzy, papparazzi-worthy weddings has given rise to "Competitive Wedding Syndrome." The experts say that we are so saturated by celebrity culture and their glamazon weddings (perhaps the newest trend will be copying their fabulous, no expense spared divorce settlements?) that 1000 British couples polled about their intent revealed they are more interested in impressing their guests with their glitz - than honoring the presumed "love" that got them here in the first place. Yikes.

Second jobs, 60 pounds sterling a minute - have you fallen victim to the Syndrome???read on at your peril....

The Wedding Invitation 2.0

When my husband and I planned our wedding, there came a month where I kind of lost my mind. Granted, there are easier things than planning a giant southern wedding from 2000 miles away, but when we started arguing about font - FONT, people - I realized I had maybe inched a few steps closer to plunging over Bridal Falls. Everyday there were phone calls, emails, the "but if we do it in 12 point with the serifs our names might have a slight edge over the ornamention of the background" blather. After a month of this crap, my husband to be took me firmly by my bridal-buff shoulders and told me that he was no longer answering anymore questions pertaining to F&$%ing font, and that if I tried to ask him again, he was removing himself from the planning process altogether. Chastened (not that I needed his input anyway, hmmph, I assembled a fab invitation, we got married and he only slightly twitches when the word "font" arises in conversation. Strangely, post -wedding, it has. But I get ahead of myself...)

So imagine my shock and admiration when I stumbled upon these 2 hardy souls in love. They made an animated film that they then burned and distributed as their invitation. It's about the itty bitty annoyances that go into the minutae of planning a wedding, an enterprise that apparently took 9 MONTHS to create. I believe they still made it down the aisle relatively unscathed.

Apparently the DVD as invitation is a hot new trend, soon to be followed by an email with a link to YouTube of a short film of an engraver making your invitation as your invitation to follow closely behind. Whether the trend explodes or fizzles (it took 9 months!!), this one is seriously cute.

Blog Round-up

I've got to unexpectedly skedattle, but I'm leaving you in good hands...


Bridalwave has a story on the ultimate eco-conscious wedding gown with a romantical tale to boot...

And speaking of romantical, Mitch and Cindy met and fell in love in cyberspace. Where's the wedding going to be? Out of this world, baby.

Naughty Girls Need Love, too

Combine the fascinating as only a trainwreck can be appeal of the late Anna Nicole Smith with the shrewd yet talent-less flair of Paris Hilton (and add about 20 metric tons of silicone) and you have Jodie Marsh, creation by and It darling of the fearsome British tabloids. Apparently famous for a stint on Big Brother and arriving at press events with little else but those awe-inspiring assets (seriously - the girl must keep a round-the-clock chiropractor on retainer), the sassy Brit has decided she no longer wants to crash the red carpet solo. Fed up with dating "losers," Miss Marsh is looking for a mate and is using the power of the press to help her:

"I'm fed up with going out with complete losers. I've been out with my fair share, none of whom have lasted more than five minutes, so I've decided to take drastic action," she said.

"I'm desperate to settle down with the man of my dreams so I'm launching a nationwide search to find a fella, but not just a boyfriend. I'm on the look out for a husband."

Competitors for Miss Marsh's heart must fill out a surprisingly tame questionnaire ("Where do you see yourself in 5 years?") and then wait by the phone for a chance to "audition" to be one her boyfriends on nationwide TV. We can only hope she finds a way to work that "belt bra" into her ceremony.

Amsale

For those several million of you that watch Grey's Anatomy, Time Magazinehas a story on the designer behind Cristina's lovely if not jinxed wedding gown.

The BBC also has a story on another crabby bride to-be-no-more. Apparently miffed that her fiance wouldn't leave the club to go home with her, she found an interesting method to vent her frustration.

And unlike them, I hope you have a lovely weekend!

Jules Bianchi Wedding Photography

I don't know. Maybe it's the gorgeous weather or the fact I got three uninterrupted hours of sleep last night, but spring is on the brain and I'm wanting today's post to reflect that. I think I've mentioned Jules Bianchi's websitebefore. She's one of the most sought after wedding photographers in Los Angeles and a trip to her blogwill reveal why. I'm just blown away by these shots of a wedding at Greystone Mansion in Beverly Hills. I want to completely redo my wedding and steal that bride's veil:





If you're a lucky California bride, Jules is also available for engagement and boudoir shoots and making your event look Martha Stewart Weddings fabulous.

Wife for Sale

Surfers of Brazil's Mercado Livre site - Ebay for the rest of us - could have bid on the vintage yellow beach cruiser or the bin of secondhand ipods. Or one Breno Bonin's wife.

That's right. Apparently a little short of cash, Mr. Bonin listed his wife for sale on ebay - for fifty bucks.

What will $50 get you?

Apparently she is in "almost mint condition" and among other glowing attributes I'm too grumpy to mention, "hasn't reached menopause and is 35 years old." But before you consign Mr. Bonin to one of the lower circles of husband hell, he very generously offered to buy his wife back once his financial situation improved.

I really hope this is an April Fool's Day prank still popping up in the news, or Mr. Bonin's financial situation may really be in dire straits when he wakes up not only to find his wife missing, but the um, pair it took to write the listing in the first place.

As a bonus, I couldn't help but notice the links listed below the article. If only randonly generated ebay links was aware of its clever comic timing:

Wife
Browse a huge selection now. Find exactly what you want today.
www.eBay.com

Brandon is for Brides

They say it takes a village to raise a child. I'd wager with the dress shopping, the guest list making, the shower throwing, the registry, er, registering, and the fistfuls of cash spent, it wouldn't hurt to have one on hand to help you plan your wedding.

And that's what one plucky little town in Vermont realized.

The brain trust behind Brandon, Vermont recognized that a major percentage of tourism to their state owed itself to destination weddings. So why not give away a wedding? And by a wedding I mean they didn't spare any details:

"Lawyer Jeffrey Smith is providing the prenuptial agreement. Floral designer Beth Carr will kick in the corsages. Chef Robert Barral of Cafe Provence is handling the cake. The reception is set for the Lilac Inn, and the rehearsal dinner is being planned at an 18th-century inn just across the street.Even dentist Thomas Coleman is pitching in. He'll be cleaning the happy couple's teeth.Best of all for Kristin Petty and Dan Kelleher: Their dream wedding is on the house, paid for by perfect strangers in a place they've never been."

To score this sweet package valued at $40,000, prospective brides and grooms had to submit an essay on why they felt their love story was worthy of so many strangers coming together to create their perfect day. And even though the winning couple is totally cute, they weren't allowed to submit a photo. And they say pursuing a degree in English is a silly trifle.

So providing that the wedding - taking place this September - goes off without any major snafus, they will hopefully host the contest again. So you 2008 brides still looking for a free shindig? Bookmarkthis siteand brush up on them writing skills. Or marry an English major. Some of us are even kinda cute.

Welcome Peeps!

Due to People Magazine's Bad Bridesmaids blog's lovely link, I noticed I've gotten a few new visitors of late, so welcome! Put up your feet and stay awhile. Stressed out from planning and need a break? I'm your girl- er, blog. I don't cover the standard wedding fare like the latest dresses to hit the runway or what makes the best flowers for a centerpiece, but if said dress were to end up stolen and then found in a bizarre charity benefit gone wrong or you needed some reassurance that there exists a wedding party tackier than the one you've gotten shanghai-ed into, this is your kind of place.

Ok, backup. I know the appropriate reaction to hearing about a wedding party collectively acting liking a bunch of jackasses is one of shock and disgust. But deep down I have to admit I'm almost impressed with this bunch. It takes a healthy mix of deviance and timing to engage in the practice known as the "Dine and Dash." But to choreograph the escape of you, your fiance and 28 other members of your wedding party so you won't get stuck with the bill? I'm the tiniest bit in awe.

A Southern Wedding

"Somebody is Going to Die If Lily Beth Doesn't Catch that Bouquet: The Official Southern Ladies Guide to Hosting the Perfect Wedding"

'Tis a mouthful for a book even by my standards but being from the south and living through my own big fat southern wedding, I couldn't resist giving it a nod. Especially since the authors' first bookwas about how to throw the proper southern funeral.

For my southern wedding, our invitation was printed in the church bulletin, in effect inviting the entire church body to attend. No rsvps. Because that is the way it is done. I stil twitch a little upon hearing that phrase.

Any of you finding yourselves a slave - willingly or otherwise - to local/family/historical/insane tradition?

A Growing Trend

Did you get the speech about what happens when 2 people love each other VERY much? You know, they go into a dark, candlelit room where love leads to wrestling/waiting for the stork/something about seeds and gardens and a shotgun wedding? According to informal polls, some of you may have been erstwhile occupied to listen to some silly speech. Approximately 1 out 6 brides shops for her wedding dress while expecting. And faced with biased, snooty shop girls and unfavorable public opinion, it hasn't always been a pleasant experience.

Well, happy news for those in love and in the family way who thought a big, fun, festive wedding was out of the question. The maternity wedding dress is looking to be the biggest trend this wedding season. From The Ledger:

"The world has changed. Pregnancy is something that no longer needs to be hidden," says Isabel Sawhill of the Brookings Institution, who studies children and families. She adds she's just glad couples like Onnis and Garcia still think marriage and children go together no matter the order.

And the money quote:

And when culture shifts, can retail be far behind?

You betcha. Posh maternity sites like Pea in the Pod and Mimi Maternity have jumped on the trend and introduced their own line of wedding maternity dresses like these 2 lovely numbers:




So hooray for progress.

For those rankled in-laws, there's hope for them too. Nothing says wink wink nudge nudge like an edible shotgun shell cake:

U.G.L.Y.

I've been lucky. Of the weddings I've been asked to be a part of, the brides have all had the foresight to pick lovely dresses that if not exactly wearable a second time around (not many occasions to attend the opera) look smashing hanging in my closet.

And then there are these unlucky lasses.

For your viewing pleasure (and deeply gratifying sense of schadenfreude), People Magazine has compelled the moritified, the shamed, the taffeta to come out of hiding and do something useful with those heinous bridemaids dresses.

Like put them on the internet for the world to see.

Stat!

Ai yi yi. These days it's a victory to take a shower let alone string together a coherent sentence. So I'm gonna let some stats do the talking for me.

Wedding stats, to be exact. Where do you fall in the spectrum?

The average American engagement is 16 months.

During the engagement period, couples buy:

$4 billion in furniture
$3 billion in house wares
$400 million in tableware

June is the most popular month for weddings, then August, followed by September October and May
Every year an average of 2.4 million weddings are performed in the U.S.
The Wedding Industry is a 50 billion dollar a year industry
Average age for first-time brides is 25 years, for grooms it's 27.5
175 guests are invited to an average wedding
One third of engaged couples retain a Wedding Consultant
An average honeymoon vacation is one week
The average household income of a newly married couple is $60,000/year
Couples are waiting longer to get married
Tuxedoes are typically purchased 5-6 months after the wedding gown
Median age for remarriage is 34 for women and 37 for men
Bridesmaids' gowns are general purchased 3-4 months in advance of the event
Average size of wedding party: 12
Most brides (30%) plan their weddings for 7 to 12 months
Most (about 75%) first-time brides will receive a diamond engagement ring (67% of repeat brides).
About 15% of weddings include ethnic customs
35% of weddings occur in the summer; 29% in the spring; 23% in the fall; 13% in the winter.
11% of winter weddings are Christmas weddings

COST STATISTICS

$22,000 is the average amount spent on a traditional American wedding
A total of $72 billion is spent on weddings annually in the U.S.
$19 billion is spent buying presents at wedding gift registries
The average amount spent on a bridal gown is $800
David's Bridal accounts for 20% of all bridal-gown sales, and that percentage is increasing
The average ring costs $2,000

TOP WEDDING DESTINATIONS:

Las Vegas (100,000 weddings/year)
Hawaii (25,000 wedding/year)
Bahamas (5,000 weddings/year)
Jamaica (5,000 weddings/year)
U.S. Virgin Islands (4,000 weddings/year)

OTHER WEDDING STATISTICS

80% of traditional weddings are performed in churches or synagogue.
Four out of five brides are employed.
There is a 43% chance of a marriage ending in divorce.
35% of Brides and Grooms have a valid passport.
Percentage of couples living together before marriage: 64%
Percentage of engaged couples who’ve known each other longer than 3 years: 69%
166,000: Wedding ceremonies performed annually in Istanbul, Turkey
Percentage of brides who say they’ll be changing their surnames: 60%
93,750: Approximate cost, in dollars, of an average Japanese wedding
150,000: Wedding ceremonies conducted in Canada in 2002
53% of weddings occur in the afternoon; 31% in the evening; 16% in the morning.
30% of receptions are held in churches; 20% in hotels; 20% in country clubs; and 10% each in fraternal halls, private homes, and other locations.
38% of weddings have a buffet; 34% have a sit-down dinner; 28% serve only cake and punch.
62% of weddings have a flower girl.
56% have a ring bearer.
Brides 18 to 39 receive 85% of all wedding cards.
More than 4.2 million unmarried couples live together.
67% of women continue to wear the same fragrance they wore on their wedding day.

MARRIAGES BY MONTH

January 4.7%
February 7.0%
March 6.1%
April 7.4%
May 9.8%
June 10.8%
July 9.7%
August 10.2%
September 9.6%
October 9.4%
November 7.4%
December 7.8%

WEDDING COSTS BY CATEGORY*

Reception 28.3%
Consultant 15.0% (if hired)
Wedding Rings 11.5%
Photography/Video 6.6%
Bridal Gown 6.1%
Music 5.2%
Flowers 4.6%
Bridal attendants' apparel 4.5%
Rehearsal dinner 4.2%
Men's formal wear 3.2%
Invitations 2.8%
Attendants' gifts 2.1%
Mother of the bride apparel 1.7%
Bride's veil 1.6%
Clergy and ceremony fees 1.2%
Limousine 0.9%
Groom's attire 0.8%
Source: Association of Bridal Consultants*

HONEYMOON STATISTICS

Among couples who choose a traditional wedding, 99 percent take a honeymoon.
Couples spend an average of $4,000 on their honeymoon. That's three times as much as the average U.S. adult spends on a vacation.
The length of an average honeymoon is seven days.
45 percent of honeymoon trips are to domestic locations; 55 percent are foreign.
The Honeymoon Industry is a 12 billion dollar a year industry.
Most Popular Honeymoon Activities:

Visiting a new place for sightseeing, restaurants, entertainment and nightlife- 75%
Beaches and lakes - 45%
Casinos - 20%
Cruises - 15%
Golf/sports vacations - 10%
Skiing trips - 5%
Destinations that are most frequently chosen

Aruba 8%
Bahamas 20.2%
Bermuda 3.1%
British Virgin Islands 7%
Caribbean 34%
Caribbean Islands 6.3%
The Cayman Islands 10.5%
Europe 4%
Hawaii 33%
Jamaica 17.1%
Mexico 7%
Puerto Rico 3.8%
St. Marten 5.6%
US Virgin Islands 7%
Places To Stay While On The Honeymoon

46.1% Hotel/Motel
35.2% Resort
20.1% Boat/Ship
8.2% Bed and Breakfast/Inn
8.9% Other

Transportation Used for Honeymoon

76.2% Airplane
60% Rent Car
16.4% Their Own Car
27% Boat/Ship
2.7% Railroad
SOURCES

Association of Bridal Consultants
Condé Nast Bridal Group
Mediapost.com National Bridal Service
National Center for Health Statistics
Greeting Card Association
National Association of Wedding Ministers