Monday Funday

Oh good lord. So tired I can barely stand it. Who knew 25 day old human beings could be so exhausting? Ok, so clearly plenty did. I'm the schmo who thought this whole parenting thing was going to be (HA!)... easy.

So here's the ole college try for some Monday enthusiasm.

India's Brangelina got married. Crazy lady tried to crash it. Kinda made some headlines.

Speaking of crashers, The Real Live Wedding Crashers debuts tonight and you might tune in. Unless you are this guy.

When you wish upon a star...you might meet your Prince Charming. Now Disney has the dress for you to make your dreams of walking down the aisle like a real life Ariel (sans tail, of course) or Cinderella a reality.

Now, back to sleep.

Congratulations!

The biggest non-nature related cataclysmic event to hit all of Asia is happening today, the wedding of Bollywood's most glamorous duo, "Ash and Abhishek." There's been a lot of buildup to today's events: a mock wedding complete with a hired bride and groom to satisfy the wedding lust of the non-invited, frenzied speculation as to who exactly DID make the invite list, and burning Richard Gere in effigy, just to get the party started.

(And not to get off topic, but this article explains the Gere brouhaha, setting the stage for a rally where Gere and Bollywood actress Shilpa Shetty were "celebrating the 'Seena Taan Ke' event to highlight the contribution of truckers and the importance of safe sex practices.")

Um, what?

Anyway.

In getting caught up in the Ash-Ash wedding frenzy, there was this little blip that caught my eye:


"Extra fire extinguishers were on hand in case fanatical fans of Amitabh — who is adored and revered in equal measure — decided to set fire to themselves out of disappointment at seeing nothing of the most glamorous union the country has ever seen."

Ok. I understand celebrity worship. It's the engine that drives this country and makes for many pleasant hours avoiding work and relationships and chores and other more important things one should be doing with one's time. But SETTING YOURSELF ON FIRE BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T SCORE A WEDDING INVITATION is an indication that one's celebrity obsession is a wee bit, um, psychotically out of control?

I don't know about you, but I feel SO much better about visiting Perez Hilton's blog on an hourly basis.

Hindu-doo

First there was the lavish ten-day wedding extravaganza. Then there were the pissed-off, disgraced in-laws, pointed fingers and a wedding bridge to be dismantled because it was too flashy. Oh, and then talks of disowning the groom because of the brouhaha. And now, a Hindi printing press owner who apparently subscribes to the Hello! tabloid mag is suing Liz Hurley and new husband Arun Nayar because (he wasn't invited to the wedding) they flagrantly flouted their disrespect for Hinduism by "kissing, drinking," wearing leather shoes and dancing a little too close to something called the "sacred fire." Because he wasn't invited, I mean, is outraged by their disrespect, the angry non-wedding guest wants to see them both "severely punished." The report explains:

"A witness to the glitzy wedding of British model Elizabeth Hurley and India's Arun Nayar will tell a court this week that the nuptials contravened Hindu traditions, a lawyer said on Monday. The glamorous couple wed in the desert city of Jodhpur over a month ago but may now risk jail there with a judge set to decide whether they should be prosecuted after hearing testimony presented by enraged Hindus."

"India's penal code makes it an offence punishable by three years in jail to 'outrage' any group's religion with 'deliberate and malicious intention.'


Tacky? Yes. Excessive? Most definitely. A wedding hosted with "deliberate and malicious intent?" Oh Mr. Printing Press Man who was not invited to the big, tacky, excessive wedding, don't fret. You've still got 3 days to score an invite to the even flashier Ash-abhishek nuptials and then score some free press when it's all said and done.

Fire!

I'm back! A little tired, worn out, sleep-deprived, exhasusted, did I say sleepy? And in love with my baby girl? Oh most definitely. And as a brand, spankin new parent, I finally have some answers to some age old questions. Like, if there was a fire in my house, I can now say without missing a beat that I know exactly what I would take first. Kitty, don't let that totem pole smack you on your slide down to the bottom.

Lucky for this quick thinking groom, he had his list readymade as well.