Wedding Miracles

Just like "awesome" was co-opted by surfers and talking green turtles and a certain southern blogger who has been abusing the term since high school , the word miracle gets a pretty regular workout in everyday conversation. Miracle diets, miracle gro, miracle last second three pointer - hell, the miracle of childbirth, which frankly, I find a wee bit dubious as I creep closer and closer to my due date but that's for a different day and different blog - by virtue of its use, it's inevitable that we rob the word of its power.

But these two recent news items made me rethink the moniker. Call them what you will, but I'm gonna file them under mini wedding miracles:

First, we have the luckiest bride and groom in the whole world

and

truly, the loveliest

Aishwarya's Wedding Curse

You know, it can be hard out here for a daughter in-law. For some it can require no small amount of grace and finesse to acclimate to the new family's dynamic, establish a good report with the in-laws, unload that terrible curse you were born with that could result in the death of their son...

Like a plot from one of my fave singing dancing Bollywood extravaganzas, my favorite Bollywood power couple Aishwarya Rai and Abhishek Bachchan are back in the news as their families are furiously denying that mystical Hindu temple they were spotted exiting the other day? They were SO not performing any kind of ritual that would clear Aishwarya of her cursed status as a manglik. And you thought you had it bad trying to arrange 200 folks for a seated dinner and find matching kitten heels for your bridesmaids...

So what is this manglik business? Even in the present day, modern Indian couples are heavily influenced by the tenets of vedic astrology which families often consult to decide if their children's love matches will be a successful union. Apparently Miss Rai was born under a seriously bad moon rising, as her birthdate fell on a day the planet Mars was resting in a "house" that creates some seriously bad karma for anyone she plans to marry. Like kill them kind of karma. But don't fret, Miss Rai! This website offered up an explanation that says the whole DYING thing has been blown a bit out of proportion:

"Manglik Dosha means the planet Mars is posited in 1st, 2nd, 12th, 4th, 7th and 8th house in a horoscope from lagna, Moon or Venus. The most pessimistic of the interpretation is that the spouse of the person with Mangal dosha will wither die or suffer bad health. This is not the real truth. If a person is not a manglik and his spouse is manglik, the spouse will have dominating nature.
The overall effect of manglik dosa will remain till the native crosses 28th year of his life. After that, its effect gets minimized, but not removed. Also, there are many cases where there is a cancellation of manglik dosa. In such cases, the matching of horoscopes for marriage purposes should be with the same kind of horoscope; i.e. manglik with manglik; non-manglik with non-manglik; and manglik getting cancellation with manglik getting cancellation.
Unfortunately so much importance is given to it that many marriages are delayed in search of a suitable manglik match. It causes acute mental tensions and anxieties to the parents (of the girl's family specially)."

So what have we learned? The next time you're about to explode your wedding coordinator's head with the sheer power of your bridal wrath, take a deep breath, smile and thank the powers that be that you are not one of the world's most beautiful, famous actresses with the rotten luck to be born under a crappy sign...

Have your nerd cake and eat it too

We've come a long way since the days of yore where cakes made of semolina wheat were lumped together with some water as a treat for the bride and groom that would often then be crumbled over the newlyweds' heads for good luck. Today, the only thing standing in the way of a couple and their dream cake is a lack of creativity. Or a whole lot of nerdiness. Yes, that would be an XBox cake. Click herefor even more nerdy cakes.


On the complete, opposite end of the spectrum, courtesy of weddingish,we have monogrammed favor cookies so adorable they deserve their own section in cute overload





To me, nothing says thank you to a bridemaid, flowergirl or wedding guest quite like sugar. And a tip from one in the trenches: If you choose to hand out monogrammed cookies as a reception favor, make sure your wedding coordinator or trusted envoy rounds up some extras to pack along as a post-wedding snack. Because nothing says scary, borderline hypoglycemic meltdown quite like the lack of sugar after a full night of mingling, not eating and loving your newly-hitched.



*I am days away from giving birth to my first child, so in the likelihood these posts disappear for a bit, rest assured that I am not indulging in some wild, second honeymoon or taking a sabbatical to finish pre-production on the book (which IS coming out late summer 2007, by the way). Just giving birth. To a real live baby. I'm not freaking out or anything. No, not me.

The Groom Reaper

I guess it was only inevitable, now that FX and Showtime are serving up some of the most cutting edge shows on TV, but Court TV (really??) is set to debut their original series Til Death Do Us Part tonight. Each episode is inspired by an actual case where a husband or wife did the other in, the "fun" part being the audience's challenge to figure out which spouse is gonna snap first. While that actually doesn't sound like so much fun to me, I'll tell you what does have me intrigued. The devilish D movie impresario John Waters has signed up to be the show's "Groom Reaper," where he'll introduce each episode and presumably class up the joint just by arching an eyebrow and acting tickled to be on cable.

Are you gonna watch? Give me a shout if you decide to give it a looksie...

When a wedding doesn't mean happily ever after

You know, for all our country's political divides and finger pointing and Rachel Ray's continued takeover of all media, we have it pretty great here in the ole US of A. We have the right to plan ridiculous, over the top weddings, watch TV shows about them, and then blog continuously about the experience years later.

But what would you do if marrying the love of your life meant the very likely chance that you would never see your family or friends again? You don't see that option popping up on your Martha Stewart wedding checklist, eh?

CNN has this super bummer of a story.

Or maybe you are a superstitious bride getting married in 2007. If so, you are probably WAY ahead of the curve and have had 7/7/07 booked as your big day since before meeting Mr. Right. If so, pat yourself on the back and read this.

Handmade Wedding

If you're looking for a touch of loveliness today, maybe a hint that spring is finally coming, kickass design blog design*sponge is being guestblogged by wedding stationer Moontree Press who will be putting the D (as in delicious) in DIY ceremonies.

Also, I'd love to hear from you. Any brides score their lucky dream date of 7-7-07?

Anybody catch David E Kelley's Wedding Bells?

Give me a shout on the comments page!

The Spice of Life

By now newlyweds Elizabeth Hurley and Arun Nayar are happily esconsed on their honeymoon, making sweet married love on the back of a jewel-encrusted elephant while firing confetti-filled dart guns at endangered tigers across the thickets of a sweltering Rajasthan. And probably still scrubbing at the last, stubborn remnants of turmeric paste the bride and groom were coated with before exchanging their vows. According to reports, Hurley and Nayar happily subjected themselves to the ritualistic basting of one's self in curry spice, an ancient tradition popular in both Hindu and Muslim ceremonies. Varying sources ascribe the tradition to the bride who slathers herself up to rid herself of wrinkles, unwanted bacteria and hair that might get in the way of her henna tattoos (which I think it a pretty rockin tradition in itself). Yet others include the groom to get cozy with the pastry brush, a way for the two lovers to bond and bask in feeling like king and queen for day. Or 3 days if you're a Balinese bride.

The The Daily Record has more on fascinating wedding traditions across the globe...

Wedding Day Blues

It seems that CD favors are still a popular and cheap method of sendng your guest off with a little memento that cleverly distills your and your beloved's personality into a few carefully chosen ditties. And forgetting song selection, the packaging alone can be so cute, as evidenced above from myownlabels.com and weddingfavorites.com

But I'll confess the whole reason for this post was a song I stumbled onto the other day. Currently esconsed in Memphis, I'm exposed to a little more blues than the average radio listener, and the other day I heard a beaut. It's called Wedding Day Blues by Cousin Joe. Recorded in the 1940s, it tells the story of a groom and his new bride who hurry home for their honeymoon, where they proceed to try "it" on the front porch, the window sill, the dining room table. My jaw slightly dropped, I listened in disbelief as the narrator catalogued an extensive list of all the places inside and out of the house they attempted to do it, and then of course, laughed when the twist - as in any good blues song - reveals what exactly "it" is. It's a naughty and hilarious song, perfect for the bride and groom who don't mind giving their guests a little wink wink nudge nudge as they head home with thoughts of how they might redo their own honeymoon dancing through their heads.