The Husband Finding Dessert

Whether you are of the half full or half empty persuasion, a Thin Mints or Samoan freak, a Connery vs. Craig zealot, an Obaman or a Hilaryite, there will always be that great unifier among us, the incontrovertible right to do increasingly desperate, silly, downright stupid things for love.

Many a single lady attending a wedding has heard the rumor - pilfer a piece of that wedding cake, stick it under your pillow, and that night you will dream of your husband.

I'll be the first to fess up.

9th grade. Whipsawed over Mark Trandem. Attended my cousin's wedding and slipped a slice of frosting covered sheet cake under my pillow and had nothing but stained sheets and the threat of ants (and grounding) to show for it.

That cake rumor has its origins in a tradition that dates back to the 1800s where eager young lasses submitted themselves to various "tests," the reward being a glimpse of their future beloved. Of all the peeled fruit skin divinations, water submerged doughs and various household items burned in the stove trials for love, the dumb-cake is by far my favorite. Practiced across Europe, single lasses were instructed to bake a cake, with or without friends depending on the country, and all the while preparing, mixing, baking, watching, and waiting, she was not to speak a word or risk ruining the spell completely (hence the "dumb" name.

So like any amateur home chef, I examined the various recipes, culled the best of them, and now I give you:

RECIPE FOR DUMB-CAKE, THE HUSBAND FINDING DESSERT

One egg
Eggshell full of salt
Eggshell full of barely
Eggshell full of wheat flour

Absolutely no water must be used

Invite all of your friends seeking a husband but warn them that no one must speak in the preparation of the cake, hence its “dumb” name. Combine all of the ingredients into a dough and roll flat. Each woman must carve her initials into the dough with a pin. At precisely eleven p.m. place the dough in the oven. Before midnight, each woman must turn the dough once. Precisely after midnight, the husband to-be of the first woman to be married first will appear and place his hand on her initials.

A modification to the recipe:

After midnight, each woman must take a piece of the baked dough in her hand and walk backwards to bed where she will dream of her future husband. Again, do not speak as a single word uttered will break the spell.

Prepare only on Halloween, St. Agnes’ Eve, the Feast Day of St. Mark or St. John