Naughty Girls Need Love, too

Combine the fascinating as only a trainwreck can be appeal of the late Anna Nicole Smith with the shrewd yet talent-less flair of Paris Hilton (and add about 20 metric tons of silicone) and you have Jodie Marsh, creation by and It darling of the fearsome British tabloids. Apparently famous for a stint on Big Brother and arriving at press events with little else but those awe-inspiring assets (seriously - the girl must keep a round-the-clock chiropractor on retainer), the sassy Brit has decided she no longer wants to crash the red carpet solo. Fed up with dating "losers," Miss Marsh is looking for a mate and is using the power of the press to help her:

"I'm fed up with going out with complete losers. I've been out with my fair share, none of whom have lasted more than five minutes, so I've decided to take drastic action," she said.

"I'm desperate to settle down with the man of my dreams so I'm launching a nationwide search to find a fella, but not just a boyfriend. I'm on the look out for a husband."

Competitors for Miss Marsh's heart must fill out a surprisingly tame questionnaire ("Where do you see yourself in 5 years?") and then wait by the phone for a chance to "audition" to be one her boyfriends on nationwide TV. We can only hope she finds a way to work that "belt bra" into her ceremony.