Happy Valentine's Day

It's inevitable that at some point today, you will cross paths with a bitter singleton, a cranky sitcom character or other random holiday hater who will point out that today's tradition of foisting cheap, wrapped boxes of chocolates and cheesy hearts cards upon our lovers was really just an invention of the Hallmark Corporation to move some product. And here's where you, enlightened Valentine, can fire right back at said scoffer.

Yes, Virginia, St. Valentine's Day is a bogus holiday, but its roots go back WAY before there was a card aisle at the local Walgreens. Just like on the HBO show, those frisky Romans were having themselves a hell of a time when Christianity suddenly blew into town. The Christian priests were dismayed to find that February 14th found the randy men and women lining up to partake in the Lupercalias festival, where the men would draw names of the comely ladies from a box, identifying their next sexual partner of the year. The story goes that the priests then introduced the idea of the slips in the box bearing the names of various saints, including the invented Valentine, patron saint of lovers, and the men were to emulate the good deeds of the martyrs that fell before them. Silly priests.

Centuries later found the writer Chaucer commissioned with writing a poem for the engagement of King Richard II to Anne of Bohemia (how fab does THAT country sound?). It's been debated that in the poem, Chaucer either made up or invoked a medieval belief that February 14th was that day that birds of early spring chose their mates. This utimately led to an amusing belief that the kind of bird one saw on that day would predict the profession of their husband to be:

Blackbird: clergy or (Episcopalian) priest
Robin: sailor or nautical man
Goldfinch or yellow bird: wealthy man
sparrow: farmer or country gentleman
bluebird: happy man
crossill: argumentative man
Dove: good man
Woodpecker: no husband for you


With a reputation like that, it's a wonder woodpeckers haven't gone the way of the dodo.

Whatever your plans for the "holiday," revel in its silliness and mock it for its pretention. Just make sure you get yourself over to Walgreens tomorrow for all the discounted candy.

For a fascinating rundown on how Valentine's Day is celebrated around the world, visit Wikipedia's entry

* Valentine picture from Rosebud Design Studio