Anything is Possible

Last week we talked about classy.

Today, we'll cover the opposite of that in the form of Timmy and Muffin who realized a lifeong dream of getting married in front of their friends and loved ones at mega UK department store Harrods.

I think that would all be fine and dandy if Timmy and Muffin had perhaps met at the iconic store, reaching for the same Harrods print umbrella or sharing glances over the gourmet food counter, engaged in a whirlwind romance which culminated in breathless vows under a canopy of mannequin angels and custom Harrods Christmas lights.

Alas, no.

Timmy and Muffin are dogs and the victims of a crack-happy PR team who dreamed up the Anything is Possible ad campaign. This whimiscal revolution saw some millionaire businessman's wife receive a giftwrapped helicopter (I'm sure it's what she always wanted), and now, the unholy marriage of Timmy and Muffin. What terrifies me is that I don't think they are finished. In fact, the website says to prepare for the blitzkrieg from now until October 21. Now that Anything is Possible, I shudder to imagine what's next. Their website offers up some cryptic images:

A bandaged Teddy Bear connected to a heart monitor.

possible translation:

(Tom Cruise to personally administer ultrasounds from his donated home equipment in the main floor lobby, followed by sincere apologies if he gets too preachy about vitamins )

A tennis racket turns into spaghetti and meatballs.

possible translation:

(A torrent of gay weddings with family style pasta receptions in the athletic dept so that Angelina and Brad might be tempted out of their nose-thumbing marital hunger strike?)

A groovy stewardess flies on a magic carpet.

possible translation:

In a big F.U. to the aforementioned helicopter loving millionaire's wife, Tom Cruise to purchase a magic Alpaca area rug for family press events, photo shoots and Scientology picnics.

There is also an afro-ed model who drives a tractor and another eating what looks like bloody ice cream. I haven't had enough of the pipe to even surmise what that might mean, beyond the fact that publicity looks like a fantastic gig. The reign of terror comes to an end October 21. In the meantime, see if you get some of what the Harrods' PR team is smoking and watch your step outside.

Anything is possible.