Goodbye La La Land

Big, huge, gi-normous changes are afoot at Veiled Remarks HQ, one of them being my impending move from Los Angeles, my home for the past 9 years, to Memphis, Tennessee, my hometown and spiritual kin with the Amazon, the Sun, and Places Hotter Than Hades during the month of August. This is one of the main reasons I've been an absentee blogger. I've got even bigger news up my sleeve that I'll save for a super slow news week, maybe after Pamela and Kid take a breather from Wedding World Domination Tour 2006 go on a damn honeymoon. In space maybe. Or Hades.

But seeing how I am leaving, I'd like to pay tribute to my shiny, dirty city of Angels, a place I initially hated even though the sparks flew and then slowly learned to adore, like those spunky heroines from Preston Sturges films, and now that I'm officially besotted, I have to go.

It's a great city, especially for brides who have a bazillion resources only a 20 minute car ride away. First off they have Los Angeles Weddings Magazine which has pulled out the stops this month for an absolutely stunning issue. From the gorgeous silver blue gown on the cover to the beautful, eclectic weddings featured inside, it made me more than a little jealous that I opted for a big fat southern wedding instead of a sleek loft number somewhere downtown.

Brides also have The Bridal Bar where they can crash on their comfy couch and drink complimentary champagne while watching videographer reels and flip through pre-screened vendors portfolios, also for free, and dream up some crazy must-have bridesmaid gift that the staff will happily track down. I don't think that part it is free, but that's ok, because how else are they going to make any money?

California, if you hadn't noticed, is huge and attracts lots of people who like to be wealthy and build giant homes to reflect that status. Sometimes those homes - and estates and compounds and ranches and villas - are available for your dream wedding. Here Comes the Guide offers - in print or online versions - lists and photos of available ceremony and reception sites. So does theLA Conservancy , a scrappy, badass, little non-profit who fights to save historic city properites. They also offer really cool walking tour around the city which could make for an excellent if non-traditional wedding present.

And only in Los Angeles could you be married by one Reverend Robert who still officiates after being professionally done up as dead monk for a Halloween wedding and being asked to speak like the marble-mouthed bishop from The Princess Bride Or gets freaky naughty with ice cream:

"When the ring-exchange had been completed, the maid of honor immediately walked away from the wedding setting and went into the kitchen. Although members of the wedding party knew what was happening, the guests had no idea why she left. As we waited in silence, all of us heard the refrigerator door open and close, and then the maid of honor returned carrying a dish of vanilla ice cream and a small pitcher of chocolate syrup. She handed the ice cream to the bride and the syrup to the groom.

In sensual symbolism, the groom dipped his finger into the syrup, offered his chocolate covered finger to the bride who, with her mouth and tongue, cleaned his finger. The groom then poured the remaining syrup onto the ice cream, and handed the empty container to his best man. At this point, Rev. Robert noticed that all the guests were smiling except the brides mother."

No shit.

Have a glorious weekend in Los Angeles or wherever you may be. If you're in Memphis, hang in there. You only have a couple more months until God decides he's missing the color green. And non-melted flesh from skin.