Them There Eyes

Thanks to the lovely Mackenzie Sala for directing so much traffic my way! (And happy birthday to a fellow Cancerian. We rock, in our understated, sensitive, crab like way) If you're new here, welcome! Take a look around and check out the rest of the website. Or leave a comment. It gets awfully lonely here. All type-y and post-y and no love.

The purpose of the website is in support of my book Veiled Remarks: A Curious Compendium for the Nuptially Inclined which was supposed to be coming out this summer, but with an upcoming exodus from LA to Memphis, the purchase of a house (!!),and a niece on the way, the date got pushed back a little further. Probably this Fall if the move back to my hometown doesn't spiral me into some kind of deja vu wormhole and I'm found, dazed and slobbery, running laps around the baseball diamond at my old high school.

Anyway.

I'm trying out something new for the book. The agents who read it loved all the weird funfacts but missed hearing my personal story. While I'm not as interested in trotting out the drama of having a wedding called off and plunging into terrible depression as my fiance left the country - no joke- it's a good story. So I'm wrapping a narrative around the funfacts - some of its based on me, some of it borrowed, but I think it will add a really cool addition to the book.

Speaking of the book, the best part has been the research and I thought I would pass along a little tidbit I unearthed. Next time some dirt gets in your eyes or you saw too vigrously into that pork chop at the dinner table, be careful. You just might be proposing marriage.

EYE FLIRTATION

Winking the right eye: I love you
Winking the left eye:I hate you
Winking both eyes: yes
Winking both eyes at once: we are watched
Winking right eye twice: I am engaged
Winking left eye twice: I am married
Dropping the eyelids: May I kiss you
Raising the eyebrows: kiss me
Closing left eye slowly: try and love me
Closing right eye slowly: you are beautiful
Covering both eyes with both hands: bye. Bye
Placing right forefinger to the right eye: Do you love me?
Left forefinger to the left eye: May I see you home?
Placing right forefinger to the left eye: you are handsome
Placing left third finger to the left eye: so are you
Placing right little finger to the right eye: Aren’t you ashamed

DINING TABLE SIGNALLING

Drawing a napkin or handkerchief through the hand: I desire to converse by signal with you.
Holding it by the corners: Is it agreeable?
Playing with fork: I have something to tell you
Holding up the knife and fork in each hand: When can I see you?
Laying both together left of the plate: after meal
Clenching right hand on table: tonight
Napkin held with three fingers: yes
Held with two fingers: no
Holding napkin to chin with forefinger to mouth: cease signaling
Balancing fork on edge of cup: are you engaged tonight?
Striking fork with knife: I shall go out
Balancing fork on knife: meet me
Placing knife over the glass; will you be alone?
Slapping the ear as if brushing away a fly: I don’t understand